Hot Springs, AR - A woman missing out of Hot Springs was turned in to police earlier today by her abductors after she allegedly stripped their space vehicle of over 50% of its wiring. Verl and Walter-T of a planet we cannot pronounce report they abducted the woman while she was breaking into vehicles at a local hotel. "She seemed like an easy target for some alien probing so we scooped her up. Ever since then it has been nothing but hell." They say that due to her drug-induced state, the sedatives they attempted to use on her never fully took effect and it was like a game of cat and mouse trying to catch her for a week.
In the report filed by Hot Springs Police, there was significant damage to their spacecraft along with drug paraphernalia found all throughout the vehicle. "She did a good amount of damage to their ship," Joey Williams said in a statement. Both aliens say they can understand fighting for survival but nothing this woman did seemed remotely like survival tactics. "We thought we put her out and went to prepare our lab. When we came back she had already stripped the room and was off to the next room.
The aliens say they plan on pressing charges on the woman but Garland County officials say they are unsure of what they can charge her with. "Right now, we're holding her on drug possession and are working with the prosecutors' office to help these two aliens out."