Arkansas Snow Seeks Federal Disaster Assistance


Little Rock, Ar. - After days of above-freezing temperatures, snow in the natural state is saying that federal aid is needed for its survival. Snow has been melting at an astonishing rate in Arkansas and if the feds do not intervene, it will be nothing but a distant memory for Arkansans. "You can not let this once-in-a-lifetime event disappear. Snow is a part of Arkansas heritage now. It must be protected," a rep for the snow said in a statement.


Arkansas representatives have been mostly quiet on the issue, but with photos and videos of snow being melted in the most inhumane ways surfacing on social media, the pressure is mounting to save this monumental event for future generations to enjoy. "A declaration of emergency would just be putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. In reality, congress needs to allocate billions to preserve this historical snow. We are not asking for much, just the snow's survival," the rep continued.


Arkansans are split on the issue; some wanting the snow to die a humid and hot death, while others want it preserved. What is clear is that if anything is to be done, it has to be done immediately, as what snow is left is dying a slow and painful death.

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