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Sanders Announces Role in Matilda Remake During Republican Response to SOTU

Little Rock, AR - In her Republican Response to the State of the Union Address, Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders made a few shocking announcements. One of which is her role in the remake of the 1996 classic Matilda. “I am excited to announce that I have been cast as Miss Trunchbull in a remake of the classic Matilda.”


Huckabee-Sanders said during her response that the role is the perfect opportunity to promote her “education package” for the state. “The character of Trunchbull is a direct parallel of what I envision education in Arkansas should look like. I plan on empowering teachers to discipline children without fear of recourse.”


Part of her education package includes funding for over 500 “chokies” across the state. Chokies are coffin-sized rooms misbehaving kids can be placed in as a form of extreme torture. “The goal is not so much education as it is obedience.”


The cookies can also be utilized for school staff that insists on attempting to utilize critical race theory. Sanders hopes that this plan and her role in the new movie will help facilitate her false narrative of freedom while she works to continue gutting women's rights across the state.


“Let us use this time to reaffirm our commitment to a timeless American Idea. Government exists to rule the people while pretending to serve the people. Government overreach is something we accuse democrats of while taking away women's right to choose and schools' right to teach.”

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