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Arkansas Father Sues Son After He Signs With LSU

Hot Springs, AR - A Hot Springs Father is suing his son after he accepted an offer from LSU. The suit is seeking punitive and compensatory damages, as well as the right to shove the son’s head in his butt and let one rip. “I can never set foot in a Razorback arena again in my life. He must pay.”

The plaintiff, Justin Peter Griffin, is alleging emotional, mental, psychological, and financial distress in the 1000-page lawsuit filed late Friday. Griffin, a retired brewery worker that moved to Arkansas in the early 2000s says his son Christopher Griffin has besieged a humiliation unto the family name that they can never recover from. “This is worse than when our daughter Megan tried to work as a stripper and caused the health department to close down Centerfold.”

It should be noted that most of the 1000-page filing was crude drawings of the senior Griffin beating the son, with 100 pages just having LSU sucks written over and over. “I should have thrown this garbage out, but like many Arkansans, I hate LSU, so we’re going to run with it,” the judge assigned to the lawsuit said.

Opening statements are set to begin in late August. Spa City Chronicle will post updates to the case as they are made available.


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