Little Rock, AR - This week’s forecast calls for an elevated risk of swamp ass, according to the national weather service. Arkansans are advised to avoid sitting for prolonged periods in the sun, avoid hiking and walking unless butt pads are used, and to bathe regularly.
Swamp ass is a commonly known condition in Arkansas, but this year forecasters are predicting a much more intense swamp ass season than seen in recent years. “We are in a post-COVID time where many Arkansans are venturing out that haven't done so in a long time. Most of the elevated risk comes from people forgetting about swamp ass,” a local meteorologist said.
Governor Sanders is said to be monitoring the situation and will request federal aid if necessary. The Hot Springs Board of Directors is taking action by setting up body powder stations throughout the city for residents and tourists. “We’ll have HSPD and HSFD set up at various places in the city with powder stations for those that suffer acute swamp ass flare-ups,” Mayor Patt McCabe said in an interview.